Wednesday, May 2, 2012


Last night my husband was out of town for work so it was just me and the twins. Normally this would not be a big deal but JackJack decided that he wanted to be awake from 2-5 this morning. I sit at work exhausted but as I thought about this I couldn't help but realize how blessed I am. I know there are so many women who would give anything to be up with a crazy 1 year old half the night as the deal with infertility and loss. I will admit in the moment I did not have this perspective-there was crying and yelling by both Jackson and myself. I was deep in the self pity and frustrated by my longing to sleep. After 2 hours I decided to make the best of it and Jackson and I spent some time with God doing James bible study.

And finally after 3 hours of fun he finally snuggled up to momma and went back to sleep.

I try so hard to remember how greatly God has blessed me even on the sleepless nights. I don't know about you, but I would give up 3 hours of sleep every night if the alternative was not having this cute little boy.

This week my heart has been so heavy for babies. There were many emotional moments for me at the March of Dimes Walk-seeing so many families that lost their littles but fighting on in their memory. Then this week I heard about a friend of a friend whose 2 week old baby died after fighting so hard to overcome a heart defect. Today I read about a blogger who is fighting for her unborn twins after her water broke at just 18 weeks. I know God is in all of these situations and he has a great plan, but my heart aches so much for these people as they have tremendous heartache in a time that is supposed to be so happy.

I think last night God just wanted to give me a little perspective and remind me to not take anything for granted and treasure my twin blessings in the good and tiring moments.

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